


Pet names

by Scatteredabout



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 21:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scatteredabout/pseuds/Scatteredabout
Summary: Wade knows just what to say to tug on Peter's heartstrings. It's a skill he only uses to broaden the common good and never for his own sake. That's what he tells himself at least.





	Pet names

Closing the door behind him with a soft click Peter called out into the seemingly empty apartment. 

”I’m home” 

“Welcome home honeybunch!” Peter heard Wade call out from further inside the apartment.

He couldn’t help smiling softly. Wade had stopped with the overly sweet nicknames a while ago and started using his real name most of the time. Whenever Wade used one of his many pet names Peter was brought back to the beginning of their relationship, and a warm feeling would always fill his chest. Nowadays Wade mostly only used the pet names during tender moments or when he wanted to achieve something that sly bastard. 

At one point it had been a goal of Wade’s to never repeat a nickname twice. It was a game he had kept up for a surprisingly long time. But as it turned out Wade, contrary to his own very vocal claim, couldn’t keep on coming up with new ridiculous nicknames for all of eternity. Wade had tried though, oh had he tried! But even he had to admit defeat when, in the middle of a Very Important Work Briefing, he had called Peter his Most Magnificent Rubber Ducky Schmoopy Sugah Boogah Stud Muffin Supreme only to be interrupted by Clint’s loud “HA!”  
A wild discussion transpired in which Clint insisted that Most Magnificent Rubber Ducky Schmoopy Sugah Boogah Stud Muffin Supreme had in fact already been used by Wade in regards to Peter once before. Wade who of course wouldn’t let a claim like that go unnoticed had jumped to his own defense and started an argument, come violent shouting match, in the middle of Tony Starks monologue about what was probably an important safety briefing. 

Words were said particularly “Deadpool your brain must have gone lumpy in your old age if you can’t remember! Maybe stop sticking forks in power outlets, it literally fries your brain” by Clint and “Shut up I like how it tickles!” by Deadpool as well as “For God’s sake put down you gun Deadpool, this isn’t the time!” by Tony Stark respectively.  
The issue went unsolved until the relevant video footage, a three-month-old mid-battle scene to be exact, had clearly and undeniably showed Deadpool telling a preoccupied Spiderman that the Most Magnificent Rubber Ducky Schmoopy Sugah Boogah Stud Muffin Supreme was more than welcome to “chimi- “a certain red clad almost hero’s “changas” anytime he wanted. The offer was even served with a cringeworthy stylized wink and thus Deadpool could no longer convincingly deny the claim, not that it stopped him from trying.  
Long story short Wade had calmly and stoically, and only with the appropriate number of tears thank you very much! reluctantly admitted defeat. The pet names hadn’t disappeared completely, but they had subsided until they reached an extent that matched that of a couple of thirteen-year-olds, that had just recently discovered that it was possible to write declarations of love on each other’s Facebook walls. 

Still with a smile on his face Peter followed Wade’s voice into the living room. Peter stopped just inside the doorway. On the floor with his back to the door sat Wade hunched over and cradling something in his lap. Wade looked over his shoulder with a smile. 

“Ah Sugarplum there you are! Returned from a long hard day of spidering around the city. How was the spider-business?” 

“It was okay, only had to stop a single robbery” Peter tiredly walked to the couch and sat down with a “hmmp”. 

Wade slowly turned his body away from the couch blocking his front from view. 

“Sweetiepie you are so good! Always out there helping the little guy. That’s why you are the hero. The master of beating bad guys. Sitting in you net waiting for the baddies to take the bait. One could even call you the master-bait- “. 

“Wade!” Peter cut off Wade’s ramblings shaking his head with a laugh. 

“How many times have you made that joke already? And it’s never smooth by the way, it’s just not something you can easily work into a normal conversation really”.

“Ah you know me Darling, I’ve gotta try” Wade gave Peter an exaggerated smile from over his shoulder.

Peter finally noticed Wade’s weird posture and leaned to the left trying to catch Wade’s eyes.  
“What’s up?”

“The ceiling, and over that the roof and even higher up there’s the sky but after that I really can’t say, planets and shit I think, I can’t really comment on the possibility of a heaven in the symbolic sense but perhaps- ” 

“What’s going on?” Peter demonstratively moved into Wade’s eyesight, and Wade reflectively shuffled so that his back was turned towards Peter again. 

“Nothing Pumpkin” Wade tried to wave dismissively with one hand but had to abort the action when something small wiggled in his lap and he had to use both hands to stop it. 

Peter took a step closer to Wade who in turn shuffled around again. Peter took a step to the left and Wade shuffled a few degrees more.  
Step.

Shuffle.

Step.

Shuffle.

Having made a full 360 degree turn Peter sighed noisily through his nose.  
“Wade what have you done” his voiced strained from feigned calm. 

“Well you see Angel Face, I was on my merry way totally minding my own business as you know I always do. And then I see these scums causing trouble. And you know because I’m such a cool, calm and collected guy I think to myself what would Spidey do? Because really! always do it like Spidey does -the hero with New York’s best ass. That ass! You could stop traffic with that booty. Whoa and you have! I distinctly remember that time with the taxi and the pigeon-lady- “. 

“Wade skip to the part of the story that explains why you are currently trying to hold on to what looks like a bag full of angry swarming bees” Peter said. His voice stern but with a trace of laughter that no furrowing brow could hide.

Wade’s eye widened but continued with his rapid flow of words.  
“Yeah okay but you see the guys were prodding and poking something small and really they should know better- so I took a look- and they really had it coming harming something that can’t even fight back!” Wade angrily stopped for a second to take in a breath.  
“But well you know how I feel about that sorta stuff so really I only did what you could expect- and honestly I think you would be proud of me. I didn’t even un-alived them, I just gave them a stern talking to… with Bea … and Arthur”

Peter stepped up beside Wade and put a hand on his shoulder.  
“Wade so what you are telling me is?”

Wade looked up into Peters eyes.  
“Munchkin”

“Wade”

“Snookums”

“Wade!”

“… Well I propose the addition of a new family member”

Peter stood silently gazing down at the fluffy black bundle, it looked impossibly small in Wade’s hands. 

“…. Baby-boy?” Wade’s hopeful voice echoed in the silence.

Peter looked from Wades expectant expression to the quivering ball of fur in his lap.

“Meow” 

The frail sound was followed by an insistent heart-melting purring.

“Okay, we can keep him”.


End file.
